My dear friend Cheri (more like a twin sister that I think was seperated from me at birth) wrote this in her blog and I HAVE to post it on mine... it is priceless and fits exactly how I feel. Bravo Cheri! Cut & pasted from her site...
This is an email I sent to my mom's group on Yahoo back in 2001. (Sept. 11, 2001 was Nathan's 3rd birthday btw)
From: "Brorsen"
Date: Thu Sep 13, 2001 10:29 pm
Subject: realizing reality and having to vent
I was just watching CMT and broke down as Martina McBride sang the National Anthem. I think I'm getting passed the shocked stage and moving into the anger ... and while fear isn't in the 5 stages, I'm defiantly there too. I cannot get passed the mind that could be so twisted and full of hate that they would elaborately scheme and plan an attack on innocent people. I sat here thinking some momma isn't able to hug her babies tonight, a wife is just wishing she could scold her hubby for leaving out dirty socks and the emptiness that must be in full force on those that just want to hear something, anything about their loved ones. I have never been a pacifist...I'm not so bent that I'm militia mindset either--- but the whole concept of ''just fighting this war with peace'' is so beyond me right now...I cannot even BEGIN to wrap my mind around it. WHAT? So your saying that we should just say, ''0oooh that was a very bad thing you did you, nameless, faceless coward'', we understand that you were having a bad day and felt the need to express your anger in ways that are not acceptable...we see your lack of judgment, we understand that it was not really meant to be soooo destructive, so we're just going have a big old candle light vigil and hope that our President and congress won't do anything so rash as to retaliate or shoot a gun in your direction (I'm sorry I had to turn CNN when they were covering the vigil ''promoting peace'' PLEASE!!!) Can we never be safe again...I'm all about playing fair. I'm all about peace and unity...but when someone jumps in the sandbox, and tears down the castle, then I say, remove them from the playground...if you can't play nice...then hey, you just have to deal with the consequences. I am not promoting an unplanned, fly off the handle and just start bombing folks approach. I think we need to make sure we identify the enemy, and then take appropriate steps. Until we began to show that WE ARE THE USA, we walk quiet and carry a big stick (and the stick is OUT) then these folks will continue to threaten us. They right now control us...they've closed our airports, federal buildings. They've taken away our entertainment and more than anything they've violated our peace of mind. They hate the U.S., they hate peace, they hate anything that isn't them, so while I think it sounds all pretty and flowery to say ''lets fight this war with weapons of peace'' I'd like to also point out that those idiots would gladly walk right up to your peace loving self and blow you and your kids away without thinking, much less thinking twice. They aren't reasonable nor do they want to be reasoned with...they are killers, they have one agenda, and let me tell you PEACE ain't it. Warmly~ Cheri : )
That email pretty much summed up my feelings then and it continues to echo my feelings to this day. Sure there is raw emotion in that email, but while I have a more clear perspective and more information about the ''nameless faceless enemy'' the sentiment is still the same.. I was not personally touched by the 9/11 attacks, in that I didn't have any relative or friend who lost their lives. I well remember the pain and sadness that overwhelmed me. I cannot imagine (nor would I pretend to say that I could) the pain of those personally touched that day. But here we stand, now, almost 3 years later and America has lost that feeling, that unity we chose to have based on Sept. 11th. I know all the arguments. Really I do. I've heard them. I know folks think we shouldn't have gone into Iraq. I know many, many young men and women have lost their lives in this cause. I know we haven't hit the motherload regarding WMD's (the whole faulty intelligence, or did we even need WMD's to justify our going in is a whole nother post). See I know I fall into that group of ''dangerous'' folks. You know the folks that think you should be able to own a gun if you want to (and finish reading: I also think it is personal responsibility to teach proper gun safety and to not allow CHILDREN to play with guns. Guns are a tool. Yes, they kill people. [But I don't think accessibility to guns is the reason for the violence in society. I think, maybe that goes back to parents abdicating their responsibility to raise their children with any kind of boundaries, allowing them to have access to the internet and violent movies/music/video games at will, and giving them no moral compass with which to guide their lives. But again, that's another post.] and that is it our right and our job to defend our country from both enemies seen and unseen. See, my husband served almost 9 years in service to our country. He now works in Homeland Security. I've been through deployments. My husband has been gone for months upon months at a time. But my husband volunteered to do that. See he joined the all volunteer ARMY. No one made him join. No one drafted him. No one tricked him (well, lol, beyond that general recruiter fluff you are fed; and only military folks will fully get that reference) into joining. While no one likes to think of going to war, or fighting. It's kind of an understood thing military=front line of defense. I don't think anyone in our current military service marches around to the cadence ''kill, kill, blood makes the grass grow'' . I'm sure many of them would rather be home, than hanging out in 120 degree heat. They are doing their job, even if they don't 'enjoy' it and for that I am thankful. I knew an ARMY Ranger once and at the time he was on drill sergeant rotation. He would tell of breaking down during formation because some new recruit didn't have their BDU's fixed in line with regulation. I of course balked at his tantrum and told him as much. He responded ''exactly how am I supposed to trust him with an M16 if I can't trust him to button his BDU's correctly'' Needless to say I shut up. :) But I digress. I'm so frustrated with America and even with our current administration concerning Homeland Security. Let me emphatically say I don't feel any safer necessarily today than I felt Sept. 10, 2001 before the tragedy. You know what I feel? I feel more aware. See now I know people will fly planes into buildings with no regard. I don't think the TSA or HS has made a huge amount of progress in keeping our skies safe. See because we are so concerned with being politically correct, we don't want to offended a terrorist by thinking he might be a terrorist. I'm not going to pretend America has it all tied up. Our countries past is littered with bad choices. But really for me,I don't get it. See on September 11th 2001, terrorist flew planes into buildings killing over 3000 people. These terrorist were of a certain culture and race. Does that make everyone of that race guilty. Well, no. But does that mean we should go out of our way not to offend anyone of that race and not potentially profile them? [I know, I know, I'm white, I have privilege of parenthood, yada yada yada] See for me Sept. 11 should have thrown etiquette out the window. Profile everyone. It is amazing to me that if you wear orthotic shoes you will not be asked to take them off. Doesn't that seem like quite the loophole? You can't take knitting needles or nail clippers. But you can have a walking cane to bludgeon someone with? Now before you send me emails about so and so with a bad knee. My mother has severe RA (rheumatoid arthritis). She wears a leg brace everyday of her life. She uses a cane for assistance at times. It takes my mom a good 10 minutes to get her shoes on each day. While yes it would be annoying and bothersome for my mom to take off her shoe and brace. I know that she would...cause see, my mom, she isn't a terrorist. [And yes my parents do fly often] To think that they will stop a 105 yr old woman and wand her making sure there are no explosives, while letting 25 people who very well may be innocent, but fit the profile go by for the sake of being PC makes me crazy. Its like this, if your innocent,you are innocent. Yes, you may feel profiled. Yes you may be annoyed. Yes it may be an inconvenience. But when it's all said and done you get on the plane and fly to your destination. By having these quotas and limits to who and what can be profiled, really we are just kidding ourselves to think we are accomplishing anything. I'm sick to death of trying not to offend people. Good heavens, remember those planes hitting those towers? Remember the Pentagon? Remember that field in Pennsylvania? Remember that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach? Remember that deep, dark sadness that enveloped you for days afterward? Remember seeing a plane flying overhead and being robbed of the innocence of just watching the contrail without also having to battle thoughts of ''what if?'' Until we make some very deliberate and potentially very offending decisions about profiling I'm afraid those visions, that sick feeling, that hurt are all just on the horizon, again.
